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Hello, yes, liaschizo here. Special edition schizochow post. What you’ll need to participate in this post. 8qt instant pot, two sausages (users discretion, personally hot Italian sausage), 6 eggs, one mug of uncooked sushi rice, four to six “sweet peppers”, 2l of Coca Cola, 750ml of Bacardi Gold. Go ahead and and pour two mugs of tap water into your instapot. Set it to High Pressure Cook Two minutes. Add your raw eggs and be sure to seal your instapot. A beautiful Chinese woman from Seattle once told me an instapot was like an electric 1950s housewife. At this point return to your room and chug as deeply as you can from your bottle of rum. Chase with Cola. Reflect on the allowances of Lia while you wait for the pressure to equalize. You should have set the High Pressure setting for Two Minutes fyi. Make sure you forget the total time spent hard boiling your eggs and accidentally vent the pressure before the two minute “cook time” kicks in. Go back and revisit your 750ml bottle of rum. Chase with Cola. Reflect on Lia. By this point you should have missed the buzzer for your eggs. Immediately douse in cold tap water. Roll crack one in the sync to confirm you over shot the desired “jammy” consistence and then store the remaining five hard boiled eggs in a plastic container. Consume the test egg as you dump out the boiled water. Set your Instapot to Sauté and pour enough Olive Oil to coat the surface. At this point you should reflect on how you forgot the yellow/white onions again while you wait for the pot to affirm Hot. Add two sausage links of your desired type to the pot. Retreat to your bottle for five minutes and drink deeply. Return and flip your sausage. Back to the bottle. Make sure you chase so you don’t sputter out your cheap alcohol all over your desk. Return after five minutes and flip your sausages. Be sure to swirl the olive oil for proper crusting. Step away for another swig of rum. At this point you should be scissoring (as Lia would want it) your sweet peppers into small sections in the sink. When you reach the seed bed either scissor around it and the stem or use the knife you’re mother you gave you to scrape the seeds and excise the stem. Add the processed peppers to the pot. While they are cooking wash your portion of rice. By the time you’re finished you should be ready to remove the sausage and peppers. Proceed to do so into a stand alone ceramic high sided dish. Pour your washed raw rice into the instapot. Dumb the appropriate amount of water to deglaze the sausage burn in. Set your instapot to the rice setting. Return to your bottle and schizo post on Lia from Phase Connect general. When your rice is prepared plate into a hand glazed Chinese bowl and top with scissored Italian sausage and a generous portion of Italian sausage. Refrigerate remaining portion of Italian sausage and pepper and leave excess rice at room temperature (pressure sealed) in the instapot to combine on the morrow. As always, I like Lia.
