>>89101492Have you ever watched "The Truman Show"? Truman keeps thinking of this girl he met way back in college and even goes as far as to travel the sea to find her. She becomes his guiding star, this catalyst, that helped him navigate through the treacherous waves and the moonlit night.
I found Taffy a few years ago, but never really had that strong connection until I saw her streaming on Twitch again. I really liked her but as times got rough, she became my guiding star. That's why I wrote a lot of poems about her. She's been that significant to me, in a very spiritual way.
I don't like calling it "dehumanizing her" because I chose to know the real Taffy, beyond just streams (or at least as far as the circumstances allowed). There were times I did lean on her because I felt lonely and asked to hear her voice, or just chat with her. She helped me through quite a bit, and I could never just see her as just a symbol.
I will admit that I failed to ask for more or do more. Perhaps I did get caught up on the poems and trying to see in only a certain light, probably neglecting her needs and wants that she wanted to communicate to me. I do feel dumb about that, but I also know that I'm going through my own changes, changes that I can't rush through. I am sorry to Taffy for not listening to her better, because I know I wanted more of her in some form but I didn't act on it.
