>>50972652I read some stuff and it's in there, rattling around, I think but I could't tell you what stuck or what I read in the first place. My manuscript is on the archives under liaschizo. I am a stupid man.
>>50972679I've been cross referencing my experiences with the Phase Connect talents with a bunch of third world sex workers to see where the ideological overlaps and traumatic experience release/deconditioning intermingle. I am trying to move past this Phase but continue to find myself being drawn back into the predatory nature of these girls. When I hear the Phase Connect talents performing I can smell the film of saliva on their teeth and the heat of their breath soaking into the metallic cage of their microphones.
Frankly I'm a little bit upset about the recent donothons. I want to be angry that Panko is able to so effortlessly extract resources from her faithful but I understand that she is the quintessential young European au pair and she has these ridiculously highly targeted buffs with her character and style. In the case of Shiina it can be chalked up to her work ethic and ridiculously honed predatory character honed like a pairing knife to peel something vital from the victims she calls her fans. If I weren't a contrarian I wouldn't find myself hear so for that alone I guess I have to aline with the authentic fujo foundation of Lia. There's something pure and unadulterated about the Lia performance. You can see it in a lot of young female performers that are at first euphoric with finally finding themself in the position they've always craved. The Lia "Stray" donoation breakdown was probably the finest performance of her early transformative arc in the way that she was beginning to exhibit the suffering of success. For mentally ill ojisans like me the kind of depths of emotion and tortured conflict really can only be construed as a kind of virginal deflowering from the talent. The kind of nuanced desperation that Lia struggles within in the performances from that era where the unsure seeking was most prominent in her content were really something special. I haven't really seen something similar from the other girls in the company with perhaps the exception of sex cat during her over the top manic disclosures but there was never anything subtle about her particular brand. The nuance and doubt Lia is able to create, even through her own potential self doubt, is really just the best experience I've seen presented by the women of Phase. There's really something beautiful and rare about the self assured vulnerability of pushing through that doubt and even more so the kind of youthful tenacity to try and play it off as all according to her plan.
