Quoted By:
Suddenly everything of the past month becomes clear. The excuses. I wish you'd never made them. I wish you'd have told me. I would have listened.
You voiced concern when I mentioned /it/ back then. I stopped bringing it up, but there was clearly a fear that grew for you. I never knew about that fear. I wish you'd expressed it to me.
But I made sure it was gone, that nobody would ever see it.
Why it existed was never what you think. There was no maliciousness. No ill intent. I was under the belief that it was a part of our dynamic, that it made you happy to be that way and I would do so much to ensure your happiness. Even in mentioning it, you implied you enjoyed it, so I continued to tease, because that's what I believed would make you happy.
Everything I've done was with you in mind. I would never have genuinely harmed you. I would never do anything to hurt you, ever. And I wish you'd have told me that's what had been on your mind, that you had worried about it. You told me everything BUT the real reason you'd become distant, and all I could do is try and heal all the things you'd told me about.
I wish we could be as we were. I want to talk to you again. I want to be a part of your life and a source of joy and warmth for you. None of the nice things I said were ever a lie, none of it was ever to bait you into being comfortable, it was only ever to make you feel loved and cherished and let you know how much you mattered to someone. Because you do.
Because of that, I can't hurt you. I'm sad you think that would even be within the realm of possibility for me. Please, let's communicate like we should have before. I want to heal this and set things right.
