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I used to post frequently in here about Officer Brisko killing me and abusing me in increasingly more violent ways. It was catharsis because I was deeply suicidal but had too many dependants to kill myself just yet. I wanted to die in a horrific, brutal way, a sustained way that would take away my humanity and in turn make me a non-person with no dependants before my death. I wanted my life to be taken out of my hands. I wrote from frustration.
Turns out my mental illness was misdiagnosed and I was being treated incorrectly. I'm on the correct treatment now. Things aren't better, they'll never be better, but they are manageable. It will improve as time goes on, at least. If I can make it to 40 I'll be okay. I don't want to die anymore.
I realised I hadn't written an Officer Brisko scenario in a while, so I sat down to write - I wrote this instead. Sorry. I'm not sure why I'm posting this, but I feel compelled to.
Take care of yourselves out there. It's not as hopeless as it seems. Take your meds.
