>>37449403I finally got to read through all of this, and I have to say it was worth the wait. This is one of the best romance fics I’ve ever read. While your approach to making and releasing this all at once was a bit weird, the fact that it made this as tight and well written as it is made it was well worth it.
Even if I would have loved to have seen this as a slow burn fic that was serially released as you wrote it, this was good as well.[/spoiler
I don’t know if this is intentional but you have a habit of long run-on sentences while Anon’s alone. I honestly can’t tell if this is intentional since this completely vanishes when he’s interacting with others. Aside from that, your prose is great. In particular, you have some really fucking good dialogue. The only real nitpick I have is that you sometimes have weird tense troubles alongside a couple awkward sentences.
Other than that, the writing is solid outside of Ayame scenes they feel ‘tell’ rather than ‘show’ with how she narrates it. I guess it’s a necessary sacrifice. As otherwise the word count would have to balloon even higher than what it is now. Because even if I would have loved for it to be even more in depth, I can tell even you’ve kind of gone way past your initial word-count estimations.
That ending smut scene was so good. It ties it all together so well. The echo of the past dialogue and the detail of the emotions and actions made it all go together perfectly. Probably one of the best endings to a fic we’ve gotten in a while.
Also, why the hell is Aqua referred to as a pink-haired girl? She’s purple. 