>>80551023>>80550677>>80554686Allow me to add some background for the haiku, as another sightseer and consultant in the writing process. The tourist reference is meant to serve as the kigo for this poem written during the summer, matching the summer vacation Steve image and the typical outdoorsy summer practice of tourism.
Kireji wasn't premeditated since >english, but I'd argue the change of language with koko serves the purpose. There's definitely kire, separating the initial line that sets the scene and mental image from the next two lines, which contain the emotional content, insight, and observation. Using punctuation in english seems like a less than perfect workaround to me, and there's examples of "recognized" english haiku without punctuation. Unfortunately, ko isn't in the 18 syllable list, but it's said that Matsuo Basho taught his students any of the 48 mora could be used as kireji, and he's Japanese and from the 1600's, so fuck it.
The idea of having a two part poem was discussed during writing, so it could have been the top half, but the author chose to go with a simple haiku with a message before it. The 5 syllable lines are clear, but the 7 could be ambiguous. During text-only discussion about the proper pronunciation of Xapitan, I checked the /jong/ archives and found an early use in one of these mad libs where it was spelled Xaptain, so I claimed both Xap-tain and Xa-pi-tan pronunciations may be acceptable. The poem uses the two syllable version, so it rhymes with captain, making the middle line 7 syllables overall.
Both the first line and the last two blur subject and object, and the poet is merely part of the scene. There's an expression of genuine feeling, Steve is kringe, and it's objective, even though most would say mahjong causes great damage to the human spirit without a single benefit. Source for these haiku metrics: did an internet search since it's impossible to remember. Also -1 image slot.
