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I keep spending all day thinking about irina and they aren't very pretty thoughts. I keep telling myself I have to stop watching her and try to forget her forever, but I have no idea how sad or not she would be.
I wish I wasn't so useless, I can pay for the youtube membership but that's it, yet at the same time I hate myself for putting so much time and effort into someone who will never love me back, but I just can't leave her alone
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK, internet relationships are a trap and I'm just burying myself even further
