>>37213574>To my surprise, I am not met with a cacophony of cardboard boxes tumbling down on me, just simply a wave of air smelling of old cloth, paper, and plastic, which feels about right considering that this used to be where I would store all my random junk before it got full and I began to pile more things than I should onto my shelves.>There are some clothes in here, not as many as one would expect for a closet belonging to a girl, but then again, I wonder if I am considered a woman, considering my lifestyle.>I look around at my room for a moment, stifle a pitiful laugh for myself, and carry on. Not this Pippa, not then, and definitely not now.>I pull out some old dresses and jumpers that I recognize. A bit childish, I think, but I haven't grown much if at all in the past few years, so these should still fit.>Besides, being childish brings in money these days, so it should be worth a shot.>Twenty minutes pass, and I have a set of outfits that would be perfect for a convention, and enough to cover the entire trip without having to mix and match them or repeat any. They'd all love to see me wear them, and think I'm so cute.>But I won't wear them.>And they won't see me wear them.>And the won't think Pipkin Pippa is so cute.>Because I won't go to the convention.>I can't.>It's not my place.>Who am I to strut with a posse of equals like we own the place, or to dash about in mad curiosity like any sensible weeb at AX? That's not me.>But who am I? Pipkin Pippa? What does my name mean? What does it stand for? For what wouldn't it stand?>Am I Pipkin Pippa?>Or is Pipkin Pippa me?>And are she worthy of having friends? Friends that want to hang out with her, 'the cord schewing rabbit', at a convention?>Is it okay for her to wear her old clothes and put on yet another face in order to pull off the look?>Is she worth anything at all?>I toss myself onto my bed in frustration, not yet fighting back tears but fearing that I might. A clothes hangar pushes against my ribs. That'll leave a bruise for sure, I think as I extract it from under my torso.>I deserve that, don't I?>I clench my teeth together as my muscle begins to ache from the impact, but I'm used to it.>After all, I spend at usually three hours every day, Tuesday through Saturday, lying through my teeth to a bunch of people I do not know and will never know.>Should I feel bad about it?>Probably.>Will I?>Hell if I know.>I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and try not to stray too far from the path of success.>Repetition seems to work, the guys seem to like it. >Filler, Filter, Filler, Filter, Filler, Filter, 2 Week Or So Break.>And if it keeps going like this, I might actually have to post pictures of my feet at the end of this year.>I bet I could get away with buying some cheap socks or thighhighs from Jeff Bezos and posting those for my own sake, but I could just walk outside barefoot for three minutes and still get comments about wanting to suck on my toes, so there is no difference.>Well, at least my numbers goal wont result in me eating computer parts, plus, I eat cords anyway.>I kick the clothes over and off my bed into a pile of ever growing nonsense at the foot of my bed, and look at Pekora.>She's laid down in her cage, now, thank god, but still seems to be looking at me.>What would a rabbit know anyways?>I give her a silent goodnight, and pull up my blankets, smothering me up to my collarbone. The weighted sheet is crushing, but comfortable. It's a shame it can't be only one without the other.>I listen to the fans of my computer work to cool it down as it sleeps, draped in my now cooled hoodie.>I could try to sleep, but that usually gets me nowhere.>I could take my meds, but I am already tucked in.>I could go to a convention with people that I like, and who like me.>But I won't.>Because of Pipkin Pippa.>The room is quiet, even with multiple animals in the room.>The rabbit is unmoving, but visibly alive.>But for how long is anyone's guess.3/3
Like 50% of this is projection on my part, but the idea came to me so I decided to commit to writing it. Mucho texto galore.
I should sleep now, even though I am gonna skip what few uni classes I have tomorrow, or rather, today.
Pippa love.
