>>76451835Nice. I enjoyed a lot of this, especially Shion, strangely enough. She was cute throughout every scene she appeared in. Everything else has been covered by some other Anons so I'll mention a couple things that felt kinda off. The first was Hoshikawa's character. She felt condescending and snarky in this, which isn't really what she's like. You captured her playful and cheeky side pretty well but she's definitely nicer than this. I also didn't get the point of the moral code thing considering how fucking FAST Anon suddenly went from feeling annoyed by Hoshikawa to wanting to fuck her. It was also then revealed that he was doing stuff with
Shiori, so it I feel as though it didn't add much to the fic. Especially the line,
>For the fraction of a second you reminisce how you, a former bastion of morality, could be reduced to such a lust-driven beastfelt meaningless since he showed no signs of ever being a bastion of morality.
That said, this is some real nitpicking I'm doing here. If this is all the fault I could find in this fic then you know you've done a great job. Sex was incredibly hot, dialogue was nice (aside from when it jumped from 0 to 100 at times) and all the characters felt very alive. Amazing work.
