>>33623968Didn’t think talking about it would do much aside from kick up settled dirt but if people want the full picture I guess I can talk about it. Sorry for the long post, I waited till the thread was kill to post it.
I think it was a matter of perspective. When you’re close to someone you have trouble seeing them as a whole. He was nice and never treated me wrong. Even after we stopped talking he never said anything mean or tried to hurt me. If anything I probably hurt him in the end. I had a hard time seeing things from other perspectives, because he was just a sweet, sharp, and slightly strange guy around me. He made me feel special and like he cared so it was hard to see him as the dangerous and mean guy everyone painted him as. (Take my experience with a grain of salt as autism & brain damage means my interpretation of other peoples intent is “suspect” at best.)
However, taking a step back you see how someone is outside of how they treat you. You see how they cause problems for others that matter to you, and how even the actions they think are just funny jokes can hurt people. If I ever came off as ‘supporting’ or ‘defending’ his actions that hurt people I apologize. I don’t support any form of harassment or harm done to people, and never have.
At the start I saw someone hurting and hurting people around him; lashing out because he didn’t know how to deal with things. I thought I could help stop the pain for him and others. For a bit I think I did and he was nice. In the end it all it did was burn me up from all sides and leave me and others hurt. I don’t blame anyone but me for that, and I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me when I walked into a clearly labeled minefield. I knew the risks going in and had ignored alot of people giving me helpful “nudges” along the way. I don’t really have anything meaningful left to say but I never took any money and never got anything from him aside from the cute little skeb. It wasn’t ever about that sort of stuff. Messages were never sexual or romantic unless I missed something glaring. I’m going to try and get back to sleep, if you have questions shoot a DM or email my way. Not the best way to deal with it but I hate seeing this come up every time I ego search and maybe this will put it to bed.
