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I'm not welcome here and it's my own fault.
I say rude and insensitive things but I don't mean it, I don't realize that what I've said is wrong.
I have hurt so many people and hurt them further when I show apparant apathy at their offense.
When I keep silent, people think I'm a good person but then I remain locked in my shell. When I speak I drive people away and get shunned out of the community I'm in. I learn a little each time, the mistakes I've made, but the cost is so high. There is no forgiveness for my actions, they are too bad to be simply social awkwardness. I have become a bad person through my own ignorance of my own nature and do not deserve any kindness, but I only wish that I can somehow learn to be better.
You don't realize it yet, I have been mostly silent, walking on eggshells, but soon I will be gone and this thread will be filled with disdain for me.
But please just remember,
I don't want to be the bad person, I hope someday I will be better.
