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>go to Japan for a job
>meet employer
>"Meet tomorrow in front "SUPA SPICY LAMIAN. Your target is vtuber"
>book hotel room near aforementioned place
>expensive af but the job will cover it
>next day comes, go to spot
>suddenly 2-meter tall pink-haired chick appears in front of me
>"Konnichihai my guy, you gonna itadakimasu into that super spicy LAMEN? I already had like SAN bowls I'm gonna [tootle] pop!"
>have no idea wtf she just said to me
>notice employer in the distance. she gives me a nod. This is my target!
>knee-kick the pink girl in the crotch
>she falls down instantly
>"nani kore senpai, that literally killed my manko..."
>"OMG WTF ARE YOU DOING?! CALLI, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!"
>some random orange-haired girl appears. I can understand her at least
>she has a knife
>shoot her in the head. London was enough for me to wait and see what a knife does
>she collapses. Dead. That’s gonna suck cleaning up
>pink-hair girl still struggling on the ground
>knock her out with the butt of my gun and take her up the hotel, which is 2 min away
>surprisingly, nobody saw anything
>tie 2m tall bitch to chair
>"FUCK BROTHER, NANDE DID YOU KILL MY LOVELY KIARA????!"
>there it is
>I start saying the rehearsed lines, given by my employer
>"Stop pretending you love Kiara."
>lean into her hear and whisper "I only wanted to listen to you shart on stream"
>she burst into tears "OMG BRO, DON'T KUROS ME. I'LL DO IT - I'LL SHIT MYSELF RIGHT NOW IN FRONT OF YOU"
>can't even manage to interject her, she starts furiously farting
>the noises she makes while doing this are akin to a pissed off bull in heat
>it smells like 2-week old egg salad left out in the sun
>"H-HERE, YOU WANTED THIS, RIGHT NII-CHAN??"
>idk how her fucking panties worked but they were pink and they were torn apart by the shit she released the moment she said those words to me
>what the fuck did she eat, it's like I'm watching a new species being born
>the smell worsened. idk what boiled shit smells like but I'm pretty sure it smells like this
>notice her grunts slowly turn into moans, sounding like that "OH BILL" vid i saw years ago
>isn't this enough?
>suddenly my closet just burst open and the orange-haired girl I shot earlier appears
>"Calli... do you seriously not love me"
>idk wtf is going on but my orders are to make this bitch reject her love for a "Kiara"
>i flash my gun to the mess that looked like a woman 2 min ago
>"Y-YES. I HATE YOU KIARA. I NEVER LIKED YOU, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!"
>orange girl turns around and runs out of my hotel room, wailing
>I guess that's enough
>i turn the laptop monitor towards my target
>her face went blank as she saw 90k+ viewers listening to the entire thing.
>Guess my job here's done
>get dizzy from the smell
>look at pink-haired girl, she is frozen still, possibly trying to figure out wtf she just gave birth to
>i rush out of the room and start heading down the stairs towards the exit
>suddenly get stopped by the orange-haired girl
>"Phew... Good riddance. I fucking hate that bitch since day 1 of our debut..."
>she hands me the money i was promised from the job
>hands me 2 buckets of chicken wings and nuggets
>realize this was my real employer
>"Thanks anon, you're a lifesaver."
>head to airport while enjoying my nuggers
>wtf is a "vtuber"
