>>90700605I'm in a similar boat, though mostly due to permanent generalized burnout than anything to do with the subject of programming itself. I think it's helpful to actually start with low-level, bare-metal fundamentals like what hardware components and memory addresses high-level languages abstract down to, and the assembly commands they compile to, etc. than using the high-level abstraction as your starting paradigm. That way you can view the mechanics going on a bit more clearly while bypassing what our intuition would have us believe the language says "should" happen and things like that.
That edification is a major reason arbitrary code execution videos have caught my interest as of late, like these for example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnfZgk3QL5Uhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXnwrxLzeI8 