>>38338177I like the concept a lot and you make quite a decent argument for it, however i have two gripes
>First oneI know its easy to pin everything on Marine, after all she's the one suggesting the relationship, but she comes off as..way too excited? She pushes way too far for such a sensible topic specially if she's actually sexually active.
from my personal experience of being proposed an open relationship the desire to experiment comes from something being stale or the person being way too much of a thrill seeker. I feel like Marine could have floated the idea, then the thing festering in (your) head and then the talk, then add some ''we dont do it like before because we are older'' or even ''she doesnt want kids'' or something that actually prompts her to try an experiment, otherwise she comes off as weird and really eager to cheat on (you), despite that clearly not being your intention
>Twofor such a serious and misserable topic, bringin up manga that lui just happened to be reading in a bar feels really bad. I was able to overlook it at first but then it was brought up and it took me out of there, i know you wanted to make Lui and Anon connect but it feels extremely forced. Something like the TV is on, the world cup is playing and she tries to make conversation about it, you tell her you know nothing about football and she goes ''well neither do it'' and a good laugh. something more organic.
Still, nice job, i think you have a winner here if you can polish those edges
