>>73562626Generally, animals and humans respond to life threatening situations (or those perceived as such) in 1 or 4 ways. Fight or Flight, Fawn or Freeze. But having to do it over and over again will fuck you up, and people tend to have 1 main and 1 sub type. I am Flight and Freeze (perfectionist workaholic until I burn out and disassociate in front of the pc), and lived in that pattern for years without even realizing it.
>>73563004You said a lot of things about how you view yourself. I'm sorry someone made you feel like that, but it's not true. It doesn't have to be true.
Read Pete Walker's work on CPTSD, read Whole Again, read Brene Brown, or listen to audiobooks or watch their youtubes.
Learn to observe yourself, and sit with yourself. No judgement, just watch.
Think of it like watching the thread scroll by, try to notice the loops and listen to the rrats, and then let them go. Eventually, you will have done enough reps to actually understand the schizoposting in your own head.
That's meditation. Just observe. If you learn to sit with your feelings, you will eventually learn to integrate them. And you will no longer be a slave to them.
