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It just feels so uncomfortable because I know I'll never get the chance to be that close to her, and I know many others will feel the same way. I want to be the one there who can just casually text her a "good night" and make her heart flutter. I want to be the one that she thinks so hard about finding the perfect gift for. And I certainly don't want to be faced with the reality that that's not me and someone else got that treatment instead.
Having a conversation like that about someone you had a thing for for so long is only a recipe for frustration for your audience, there's nothing that can come of it but hurt feelings