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I'm trying to not fall in love with the idea of being in a relationship with a girl.
I only want to have a relationship with someone who fits the exact parameters of what I want, and being part of a conservative mindset is not helping. I've tried to be more progressive and "open-minded", but all that results in is even more confirmation of the negative biases I hold towards people, especially women.
The stereotypes are so prevalent that I don't even want to discuss this anymore; the topic is so exhausted in my brain and in my social interactions at school along with other groups/communities. I keep going out of my comfort zone in the hope that people don't really act like the stereotypes I see online, but it's just so disheartening because I keep getting proven right.
For example, League of Legends players have never once shown any kindness, understanding, or empathy.
I figured that was just me seeking out a confirmation bias, but I continued to find only disheartening examples of people with poor emotional regulation and impulse control. Rates of narcissism are so high it's crazy.
Thankfully I've relapsed less on porn because of my own drive to better myself. I mostly watched romantic porn cause it was cute, and I can't jerk it to hardcore stuff.
