>>57863021Been on like twenty different types of meds for daily panic attacks and constant akathisia that had me actively injuring myself to function. Tried a grand number of meds from Lexapro, Abilify, Lamictal, medical marijuana, etc etc and none did jack for me. This started at 15, had me put in a ward, homebound, etc etc. Couldn't function as a Human.
The only thing that had any impact are benzos. Benzos will work, but just be very, VERY fucking aware you take them when the only other option you can see is slicing your throat open. I loathe it, and have quit cold turkey in rage at the dependency three times. I've also been in the ER three times because they will let you function as a person, but the trade is extreme dependency if nothing else works for you. Since I've been on them I have a degree and have held down a job for three years, live in a house, paid off a car...
But you will be a slave to the fucking things, and will never stop being aware of it. The upside is if I were living thirty years ago the only option really would have been suicide, so...I guess it could be worse. Feeling like a junkie, even if no one knows you're on the meds, is a great way to keep the self loathing high.
tldr: What you described sounds like benzos could help, BE VERY CAREFUL.