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Bzzz. Bzz. SLAP. You smack your own face to get that mosquito bastard that was flying around and proudly check your hand for the kill. "Why the fuck are there three? God fuck this swampland I swear". 'REEEEEEEEEE' you get out of bed to the gremlin noises of your gamer wife Amelia who spent all night playing games on PC in between streams and you peak out the door. 'Kyahaha got you this time, nigger!' she continues the trashtalk while you head for the fridge to realize all you got is red bull and bud light. "Fuck! Ame ya didn't go get milk and eggs last night?" You dodge a beer bottle that shatters against the wall, seems like she'd been drinking. "Alright dang it, guess I have to go myself." You grab a beer and climb out of the trailer to what could only be described as an inferno but you take a deep whiff of the 95% humidity morning air. "Aahhh, fresh!" You hop onto your lifted 1995 Ford F150 with mudding tires and take the highway. "I fuckin' hate driving at this time, the sun hits my cupholder and warms my beer!" But you make it to Publix after only avoiding six gators sunbathing on the road. As soon as you walk in the sound of gunshots fires off outside the store but nobody is unfazed so you get two chicken tendie pub subs with Boar's Head mustard and grab a gallon of Florida's Natural Orange Juice (With Pulp) some milk and eggs. You walk back to the truck to find 3 cops hiding behind your hood so you tell 'em to fuck off and drive back home. You see a New York plate so you flip them the bird "FUCK YOU YANK". You get back home, smack the side of Ame's head with the sub and she just looks at you with puppy eyes so you feed her while she games. "Damn woman, if I didn't love you I swear to God almighty." After you're done feeding her, Ame's game is over and she pushes you onto the floor, rips off her clothes off and rides your face. She pours some orange juice down her tits and you drink it off her snatch. Ahh, another good day in the Sunshine State...
