>>66145534It's a cute premise, but I think you can really sell the conflict Suburu is having a lot more if you wrote some minor events leading up to it. After the reveal itself and her own reaction to it, it's kinda offputting to imagine that it was the first thing she would try to do. Perhaps let yourself and her build up to it, and at the same time you'd give yourself more wholesome situations with that funny duck. You could also benefit from showing rather than telling a bit more. Statements you use to tell the reader that someone is pleased or confused, can be done with a more flowery description of expression. If you got more stories you want to tell about Suburu, keep it up and thanks for the piece.
