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Okay finally got some time. I know you are here Anon so have my review of Holoslavia Operation nimrod ( So far)
I wanna preface it by saying i actually like it, and i kneeled when you made the original pilot something actually interesting, not to mention i respect your utter dedication to the idea.
HOWEVER, its too much. The worlbuilding hijacks the story way too much to the point that is distracting. The language stuff is specially jarring because you take time to sit down and translate in the middle of other stuff happening.
In the church scene, you have 3 parties using their own language, which could be really cool if we couldnt understand everything. This also extends to when you bring up In-world stuff that needs hardcore explaining, like the songs or you reference events that obviously have a real life counterpart.
>The comedy is at great odds with the Drama. Im not saying you are making terrible comedy or that you shouldnt have some comedy, its just that it clashes greatly and also feels so utterly disconnected. An example i could make is how there's a clear distinction of when comedy starts and when it ends, instead of flowing naturally or cutting itself against the horrors. It feels like characters change skin when its time to do warcrimes and then they re-equip the comedy skin
Even with those critiques (and the overall sillyness of everything having these dumbfuck names while being dead serious) i can stress that i love how you handling this, so take my criticism with a grain of salt
