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>go to my favorite stake serving cafe
>some schizo outside is screaming about how pickles are better than stakes
>he follows me inside
>try to ignore him and order my well done stake with decaf green tea
>schizo is still screaming about pickles
>my order arrives
>schizo grabs a giant jar of pickles filled with boiling pickle juice
>dumps all the pickles on my stake
>pours boiling pickle juice into my tea
>complain
>waiter throws me out and gives my seat to pickle schizo