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This probably won't reach you, Rosemi-sama but I hope it does somehow... I think you get nervous in front of other people because you care, either about the subject itself or the perception of people watching you, probably a mix of both... The only thing you can really do to improve upon the nerves is to keep performing in front of people, until you can suppress it, usually by forgetting everything but the performance, and letting the anxiety slip away. You have to calm yourself, stop framing things from "What if I screw up/don't make it."/"What if people don't like it?" To "It doesn't matter what other people think. I performed my best", and realize that most people aren't judging you that harshly, especially not us buds who would support you and follow you through hell if that's what it took to push you forward and make your journey a joyful one always, I suspect to the detriment of our own mental and physical health if we felt the need to. We love you, and will stick with you through thick or thin. You can find peace in that, and the knowledge that the only way you could let us down is to not be who you want to be. You don't have to impress us, you are the Great Rosemi Lovelock and you impressed us the day we got the honor of being your fan. So at least take soem solace and keep it in mind that we will support and love you, win or lose, or if you trip up, we're there to help you on your feet. You never truly get over them but with enough practice doing it, you can put the focus away from worry and disappointment and towards knowing there are people that support you, because it's practically impossible for you to disappoint us, and that the perceptions of most other people (not the people watching you, Rosebud or not), don't really matter. Most people forget, even your stage pluck ups. Believe me, I have been there, choked when it mattered more than once but I learned to stop focusing on the "What ifs" and just doing my best. Now the only things that hurt me are past regrets and me being an idiot... So don't worry so much about everything, Rosemi-sama. There's a lot if people who believe in you and love you, and will love you even if you botch a performance or feel the nerves win out. We will not stop believing and loving you. Everyone else doesn't matter. Just like you have the incredible power to crush haters in chat both silently and in rare cases aggressively, you can crush all those people out of your mind. I believe you'll get there with enough time. Whenever you feel the nerves:
1.Close your eyes.
2.Take deep breaths.
3. Mental crush the people that don't matter, mental cherish the people who care. Still taking deep breaths.
4.???
5.Profit!
I would have said it in chat but I didn't wanna sound harsh or negative... I love you very much even if I'm not sure if I'm a bud you like anymore sometimes.
