>>23755554Gonna repost the translation from the CR discord:
>zeder had informed me [of his illness] even before the playoffs and i knew of his condition. honestly speaking, he was in no condition to compete. i told him time and time again that he shouldn't compete. it was to the point where zeder couldn't grip the mouse [during the playoff games].>i reassured him that i could sub in. i told him: i know how important it is to you [to compete] but your life is more important. you shouldn't have to give up on your health.>but zeder was adamant. (quote) he didn't want to crush his teammates' dreams because of his poor health. if he were to give up, he would be betraying his teammates.>on the first day, i was already pretty much ready to sub in at anytime. on the second day during losers' brackets, zeder was barely able to shoot. zeder asked if i could sub in if the first 3 games go well but because they didn't go too well, he was adamant on continuing [to correct his mistakes]>we all knew he had to be hospitalized even before we headed to the playoffs but zeder was very adamant. i feel remorseful that i let him compete to begin with.>the diagnosis/name of the illness will be announced officially. i know what it's called but i won't be going into further detail [on stream]. please refrain from speculating.>i was touched (kandou). it was life or death and he still competed.>before we flew to sweden i asked what was going on [because something seemed off]. at first he hid it but he eventually told me. as soon as i heard from him, i knew in my heart that we couldn't continue as is. mainy also had covid and was not in good health/couldn't practice. >if he informed us earlier (*this was not in an accusatory tone, just a reflective thought), he could've been hospitalized while we had ample time and practice/worked our way around it.>from our perspective, because we didn't know of his condition, we just had to assume that he wasn't performing well. these are things that we would've understood had he communicated.>[before knowing his condition] i was frustrated, as was ras, and wondered if he wasn't putting his best effort forward. i was puzzled as to why he wasn't talking as much and why his skills weren't improving. we had a pep talk to address these issues [and that's when zeder admitted]. we told him immediately that he should be hospitalized and that there was no way he was going to put a game over his life. >although there surely are repercussions to his career and whatnot [if he were to rest], he is diagnosed with an illness that when left alone, there is a very real possibility of death.>it's that dangerous>ojj/CR found out about zeder's condition in sweden so that was big. [when the games were finished] we demanded (for lack of a better word) that he get hospitalized as soon as he gets back. i told him that he cannot participate in the LCQ. zeder told me he had to take responsibility for his poor performance but i left him no choice and forced him to get hospitalized. >[explained that selly will be subbing]>i shouldn'tve let him compete. i'm to blame. i should've actively intervened and prevented him from competing. throughout this whole competition, i came face to face with my shortcomings as a coach, from in-game coaching, putting zeder on the roster, to taking care of the players' wellbeing.>if the results are bad, the coaches are the first ones to get the flak for it. i don't care about that; i couldn't care less. what bothers me most is the unsatisfactory results and how that's a reflection of my failure as a coach. despite that, the boys respected my feedback through and through. i'm always thankful for their diligence and trust in me. 