>>24508743If it makes you feel better, she probably had feelings for you as well, but thought she'd enjoy it more if you suffered mentally.
If that doesn't help, then I also had a dream a while ago. I was resting my head in Anya's lap and she was stroking my hair. I woke up crying, It's still the only holo-related dream I've ever had, and I don't even watch her.
