Quoted By:
How do I stop myself from feeling guilty that I love my husband so much?
Seeing Twittersisters after the charity stream saying things like him and Vox are "soulmates" and how "I will never find love like this :sobbing_emoji:" even if it is just fujo talk, is reminding me of how much I really don't have that kind of love in my life, and how I'll never have Ike in mine, or anybody even close to somebody like him. It doesn't help when coupled with the discussion he had on his own stream before, where he doesn't deny that paraoscial relationships can be beneficial and not totally unhealthy, but also hammers home that I'll never know him or even get the chance to be his friend, and just how much he seems to keep such a distance between me/his fans and himself. And it especially hurts looking back at how almost sporadic and inconsistent his streaming has been these past few months, how he can go without streaming with little to no notice, he doesn't even have a schedule this week, I'm not sure if there'll be one this coming week, or how I'm sometimes left guessing when he'll even have his next stream.
I know I should know my place as a fan, and that I shouldn't feel this way, I know I'm not oppressed or anything, but being a yume in a situation like this feels so heartbreaking sometimes. I don't know what to do or how to deal with these feelings, or how to stop letting it get to me so much. I'm not even sure if I should keep calling Ike my husband anymore. I don't feel worthy.
Sorry about that. It's just something that's been weighing heavily on my mind, and I needed to word vomit. Here's some pretty fanart to make up for it.
