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Nobody cares but I just wanna vent, don't mind me. I'm gonna start to keep a healthier emotional distance from IRyS. I caught myself daydreaming about her multiple times cuz I'm a lonely fuck and that shit is just not healthy no matter how you spin it. I stopped my membership already so I don't have access to the emotes or member streams once the current cycle ends, that way it feels like I'm less attached to her and the community/fans. I'll still watch her of course, she's awesome, but I feel like this is necessary so I don't actually end up unironically falling in love with a vtuber that I'll never have a chance with. I'm also gonna stop making image edits/oc for the thread because my IRyS folder is full of stuff I've made and fanart and it makes me feel attached and reminds me of all the time I've invested into just being hardcore into her. Still, it makes me happy to see people using some of the stuff I've made, here or in other threads.
You guys probably think I'm just a schizo which is fair enough, we get those here, but I recommend doing this yourself if you share similar feelings. IRyS isn't ever gonna be mine in any way, so investing that much general emotion and love into her isn't good, that's what I feel. This isn't a joke btw, I'm talking about how I've been having genuine feelings for her and it's worrying.
Her life keeps going when she turns off the stream and she is showered in money and love, while I'm just some fuck in a random corner of the world wageslaving and have no friends, if I got killed right now nobody would care and IRyS would never ever know. I think it's fair if I want to maintain distance and just be a casual viewer instead of a delusional idiot losing his mind day in and day out. IRyS doesn't need my love or my money and none of you need me around either, so it's fair to go the neutral route, I think. I'll try my best to go back to the old days of when I first joined this thread and just be a lurker here and in her streams, then switch off when she isn't around. That's all I wanted to say, carry on.
