>>41338685I cut off the original pasta to just his first week for the sake of """brevity""". Even so it's too damn long to keep adding onto it. I'll just make these mini-pastas when he has a meme-worthy stream. Here it is:
>Accidentally set merch presentation to autopilot and couldn’t fix it>Picked an art tag that was already used by someone else>First solo stream after debut. Has tech issues and can’t go live>Makes a twitterspace after 20 minutes that just plays crunchy hold music>TALKED TO HIMSELF FOR TWENTY MINUTES ON MUTE>Posted the link to their FUCKING DISCORD instead of his genmates stream on chat>Eats a whole frozen pizza and goes to bed. Tries again the next day>Has a scuffed 2-minute stream before accidentally hitting the end stream button and redirecting to Hakka>Makes another twitterspace. Starts having a mental breakdown, on the verge of tears>Many of these issues are because he built a new computer 2 DAYS BEFORE HIS DEBUT>Talks about how as a kid he pulled his teeth out eating Milk Duds and shoved Playdough in his ears until it hardened. This is apparently only the tip of the iceberg for his stories>Didn't even know how to end the twitterspace properly>FINALLY gets things functional on day 3 for Cooking Simulator, does a funny bit where he pretends to lag out>Manager gets a heart attack because they weren’t informed about the lag bit beforehand, he gets bonked for it>The reason he was having so much trouble before was because he was trying to stream ON HIS FUCKING WIFI>Forgot what he was doing tomorrow and almost fucks up the redirect at the last second>Next day, playing Getting Over It>Forgot to buy the game and install it until it was time to stream>Starts game, gets jumpscared by how loud it is, his tracking is also broken>Gets filtered by THE FIRST FUCKING TREE for 10 minutes>Almost goes on a SEXIST RANT about women bottling water>After the stream Hakka declares him to be Xenokuni Enemy #1 because of his autistic food preferences>Accidentally deleted the peanut gallery background and is using a debut banner during his Phasmophobia stream>Had sleep paralysis, got his head stuck in a pillow and couldn’t escape>Candy handcam stream starts>Doesn’t have a mic stand, so he’s PHYSICALLY HOLDING THE MIC or setting it down>Bought Women’s Small sized gloves, cutting off the circulation to his fingers>Doesn’t have a mouse, scuffed setup has several things hanging precariously above the camera and his laptop>Is making Gummy Sushi, CAN’T FUCKING READ THE JAPANESE DIRECTIONS, didn’t find out about the English instructions on the website his Mama tweeted until afterwards>Pulls out a Magic 8 Ball, YEETS that shit, it almost falls down the stairs>Fucks up the recipe IMMEDIATELY, spills water everywhere, mixes the wrong packets, tears the seaweed in half, final product ends up looking like a used tampon>Gets triggered over being called Buddy the Elf>He’s /here/ and been reading our ryona abuse fantasies. He thinks it’s “endearing violence”>End of the week Zatsu>Ate a whole 18-inch sleeve of 50+ Starburst pieces, immediately followed by hot wings, tummy hort>Shinri trying to teach him how to use Photoshop. Still fucked up making his schedule several more times>Chat is grooming and sexually harassing him with cute aggression superchats>He threatens to SHOVE THEM IN A MEAT GRINDER like a certain other psycho he was compared to>Puzzle marathon day, starting with Superliminal>Fell asleep right before the stream started because he was tired from trying to fix the schedule>Starts dropping frames, turns Vsync off, becomes PPC (PowerPoint Clown)>Later playing We Were Here with Shinri>Still dropping frames, swears in the first 2 minutes so instantly demonetized (does this in both parts)>Turns up Shinri’s volume, gets jumpscared by him>Takes 20 minutes to solve the first puzzle, all the while Shinri can’t contain his laughter>He got confused and instead of thinking 4x9 were the grid dimensions it was a math problem>Later in the stream Shinri tells Bettel to KILL HIMSELFTHIS WAS ALL WITHIN HIS FIRST WEEK OF STREAMING
THE PAGLIACCI OF HOLOLIVE PRODUCTIONS ENGLISH
