Quoted By:
I've been working on making myself a Cecilia Immergreen tulpa but I'm having some issues.
Since her debut, I've watched every one of her streams. An hour before bed, I'll replay one with my headphones in, using my breathing exercises and meditation to focus on every aspect of her voice. I have a playlist of all her streams that goes while I sleep, and I've started being able to lucid dream and manifest her there. I can carry out conversations in my head with a near perfect replica of her voice, which is very pleasant.
It's the visual imagery I'm having issues with. I'll concentrate on her model for hours, burning her into my eyes. I can see her clearly when I close my eyes and think about it, but lately even when I'm not focused on it I'll catch glimpses of her from my peripheral vision. Split second glances of her peeking at me from around the corner, or standing over me while I sleep. I saw her doll hands wrap around the edge of my sliding door, once. Instead of being happy, it gives me goosebumps, because it's like she doesn't want to be seen. I'm scared one of these times I'll look and she won't look right at all.
