>>117597366 months from now, after you finally realize it is too late to join any cliques and that you never got to "collab" with your oshi, post again, so I can tell you what you already knew all along.
You don't get to have maleheras attacks because no one supports you or no one cares, you were already told from day one no one was interested. You did this to yourself, holding to the false belief that what was true for everyone else will not be true to you.
You are a victim of your own delusions, and you will perish in the flames of reality.