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Ah, another thread, another battlefield. You normies scroll past posts without a second glance, but not me. I notice. The subtle punctuation. The forced memes. The passive-aggressive sarcasm just a bit too rehearsed. That’s right, I know who’s posting. I see them.
You think you're anonymous? Please. I’ve been in these trenches too long. I can smell a samefag from ten boards away. The cadence, the phrasing, the telltale signs of someone who thinks they’re being clever but can’t mask their own stink. I catalog bad posters. I remember their sins. I warn the thread.
You’re welcome, by the way.
While you peasants fling reaction images and parrot each other’s limp takes, I’m out here upholding the standard. If I don’t call them out, who will? Who else has the discernment, the fortitude, the guts to stand up and say: “No. This is low-effort trash and it will not stand.”?
No one, that’s who.
So when you see me greentexting some loser into the dirt, know that I’m not doing it for clout. I do it for you. For the integrity of the thread. Without my vigilance, this board would be a cesspool of redditors in disguise, tourists thinking they belong, and midwits pretending they’re galaxy-brained.
I am the quality control. I am the line in the sand. I don’t just lurk, I curate. You're in my museum now.
Now wipe your feet before you post.
