>>100107679I learned my lesson i learned
my lesson um you know I said this uh right before uh I went on my break
during the Monster Hunter era recently where I was like you know
pretending to be a certain way really bit my butt and people just assume the
worst um and if I had just said how I've been feeling and how
I felt at the time I think things would have gone way better for me sadly sadly
but I pretended to be happy i pretended that things were like a mutual whatever
and and honestly if I just had said what I felt at the time which I was I felt
like [__] i felt taken advantage of i felt mistreated i disagreed with a lot of like bad dealings behind the scenes blah
blah blah blah blah and I feel like [__] then and I think people would give me
way you know a way less hard of of a time but instead I smiled i I kept on
going i I tried to just continue to create and they said "Oh look at him
he's being all snoody about it he's he's so smug about it." Blah blah blah blah blah and I'm like "No I actually felt
terrible i felt like crying every single day i felt the worst i felt just awful."
And you know because I didn't just say how I was feeling at the time they were just like "Okay yeah moving on." You
know and it's like and I was trying to do it for everyone else's sake too right um the
viewers past associations past friends um but in the end I was I feel like I
was kind of tricked into it i thought I was going to do one last
thing i thought I was going to I wanted to do one last
thing and at the end of it I didn't get to do it even though that that was kind
of like what I feel like was going to happen and I was taken by surprise a lot by the
fact that it wasn't going to happen and you know if I had just said
that at the time if I just said oh guys I'm I'm really shocked and I thought this was going to happen know but I kept
my mouth shut and you just kind of like say "Oh it's like whatever." And you just try to move on then um basically
I'm just I'm just going to say what I'm thinking from now
on because unfortunately if you don't like if you don't just if you don't
really don't lay it out for people they're not going to you just you just can't assume that people are going to
understand what you're saying unless you say it right
[pause to read some donation message]
well can I be honest i was I think one of the things that really um bit me in my butt was like I was so worried
about coming off as like an opportunist or grifter that I was like I don't know is
V tubing right for me like let me really think about this should I ever blah blah blah and I stepped on my own toes
because honestly if I like I've seen people around me it's just they just like immediately become a VTuber come
back at it and it's like I'm like oh I just overthought it i should have just done what I felt i worry too much about
what other people thought i should have just said what I was thinking and done what I was wanting to do really um and
that's what I do now that's what I do now and it's lo and behold things are working
out really good for me now that I started to just really internalize hey if I'm feeling like a certain way I
should do what I want to do to make me
happy
[more twerking for donations]
[more whining about being too good to other people and being betrayed etc idk go look up a transcript if you care]
