>>100836043Cringe incoming, read at your own peril.
It's actually not the gap moe for me at all. GFE stuff always just weirds me out, because I cannot get over the wall of knowing that it's a person I have no relation to whatsoever. In that vein, call me parasocial or gosling or whatever, because my feelings towards her are definitely more than just viewing her as an entertainer, but I know perfectly well that Filian doesn't know or care about me.
Hell, I don't even really "know" her, only those sides she willingly shares and what little seeps through the cracks. And yet with every little tidbit I learn about her I become more intrigued by her personality. It's so bizarre for me to say, for years now I felt completely content not meeting any new people, not even getting into any creators, just media, because people just bored and frustrated me, but I genuinely want to get to know Filian. It's a new feeling for me. Maybe once I learned more of her whatever romantical interest would fade by itself or I'd view her more like a friend/sister vibe. I mean frick, I like to think of myself as not shallow, but I don't even really know what she looks like and that could also change how I feel about her. But I'll most likely never know these things (the copium running through my veins won't let me say never) and that's what really hurts.
Those "you will never xyz" or cuckposting don't get me, if anything I feel a little weird reading/making posts like that about a person I respect as a human, though I play along. What gets me is the simple realization that I don't even know her name or age and will never be able to ask her.
I'm not so retarded to believe the shadows on the wall are real, but just retarded enough to develop real feelings for them. And it stings.
