>>101228657I really have to work against my instincts to care so much about a person, but it feels nice to have something important to you. It's why I post such unhinged gosling /here/ and ask about her person so much, otherwise I would pretty quickly revert back to seeing her as nothing but another internet person and give it a few days, maaaaybe weeks, I would have moved on from watching her, but the thing is I am honestly uncomfortable, or maybe scared is the word, of that, because I will completely detach all emotion from it. I won't remember her kindly or think back to this time with a smile or a frown, I will be as dry and uncaring about it as anything else once it's over and that, losing my current emotions, my current self, scares me. The fact that I KNOW I won't care anymore, like these feelings for Filian or worries never even existed in the first place makes it even worse.
I'd really like to stay like this, crushing on the silly catgirl, a bit longer. Monday's stream sounds like it'll be fun, so I'll try and see if I can go back to just being an unhinged gosling who thinks about Filian all day.
