>>10519725not having started this series before, i went back and decided to start from the beginning. i read the first two chapters.
your prose is fantastic, personally speaking - events do not jump all over the place, but rather it's one progressive scenario in each chapter thus far, and contains a great mix of horny and of self-referential humor.
i don't watch baelz so can't comment on staying true to character, but i honestly think that's a plus here, as i quite enjoyed the haughty trickster attitude.
the pace is smooth, not dragging its heels on the ground, and you've got a clear introduction, a little character development on the part of both actors, and it all ties into some delicious raw fucking at the end. this is great, as some authors make the mistake of writing in accordance with how they're feeling rather than what the story demands, and so the pace tends to jump around, with lurching tonal shifts or improperly established emotional scenes.
my biggest criticism in chapter 1 was that if erotic writing could be compared to penile girth, then you'd have a micropenis - there was incredibly little on display, and the fact that what was there was good made it all the more disappointing that there was barely enough to get a chub on.
however, the extended sex scene in chapter 2 was great! it was detailed and extensive enough to paint a clear scene, yet not so incredibly verbose as to prevent imagination from taking over the parts i wanted to focus on.
tl;dr it's a fucking good read, anon, and my mt st helen had a vicious eruption, if you know what i mean
