>>105153639>"there is nothing I admire about myself"I keep telling you guys that she is vewry fragile. Even if her jokes are self-deprecatory, constantly hearing her chat joke about her in a mean way actually hurts her. At the core, Filian really does feel that there is nothing to admire about herself. She will never say something like: "I'm so proud", because she is unable to feel this way no matter what she does. When she learns a difficult dance move, instead of being proud that she has learned it, she sees it as just something physical. She thinks that she should have been able to do it from the start. It isn't hubris, but rather, she doesn't appreciate her strenghts. Learning something through hard work just means that she was bad at it and had to practice, learning something right away meant that what she learned wasn't something that you could be proud of learning. Filian can do something herself and think it wasn't something special at all, but then she sees someone else do something not even half that difficult, and she will marvel at it. This is why she calls herself ugly. Not because she is ugly, but she can't handle the idea that she is actually pretty.
