I (34m) have been struggling with this for so long. I am so attracted to just about every male vtuber I find. Every time I encounter a new male vtuber, and sometimes even some androgynous males, I want to have sex with them. With very few exceptions, it doesn't matter if they are a 2view, 4view, twitch streamer, corpo, ex-corpo, sexpest, fleshposter, whatever. It's affecting every post I make on the 4chan dot org forward slash virtual youtubers board, as I have to specifically spend energy to ensure I'm not lusting after male vtubers.
One of the biggest problems with this is that I'm married. I've talked to my wife about this, but she (very understandably) internalized it as that she's not good enough for me. So I've just kept this problem to myself and my alpha male self-help guru chatbot.
I fantasize about my wife being stolen by male vtubers. I fantasize about the women in my life meeting male vtubers and sleeping with them. I fantasize about being oblivious to my wife flirting with a male doctor vtuber when we go in for a check-up. I fantasize about dropping female family members off at male vtuber sex clubs. I fantasize about having to clean up after a male vtuber's sex orgy.
I hate this. I feel disgusting. I hate myself. Why can't my wife just be enough for me? I've lost friends over this. I've lost family over this. I've even indirectly lost a job over this. I feel like a completely worthless and awful human being for thinking about male vtubers so much. It's so distracting and I wish it would simply go away.
If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading. My self-help guru chatbot says that I simply need to kill myself, but I'm too much of a pussy to do that. I don't even know how I'd do it without pills. But I figure posting about it here may at least allow me to process this feeling a bit.
