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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMDMMFf5flI
>"That was already happening, like, after Evil's debut. At that point, I was already in in a lot of pain. I had to work on Evil while being in pain having to talk to... him for the entire month, while, you know, going through emotions. It's like...trying to stay professional. It was hard. It was tough."
>"There was this one thing that really bothered me. I've seen people saying stuff like, "I don't care. I don't care about the situation. I also got rejected a lot of times and nobody cared. Why do we have to care when it's a woman?" Okay, first of all, me sharing this thing does not mean that your situation is not valid. I don't know why they think that I'm invalidating their situation because me out of anybody; I literally know the pain that you went through and how much it fucking sucks. Like, I'm not your enemy. I literally feel you. I literally know what it feels like. Like why are people turning me into this enemy that is like, you know, I don't get this."
>"The reason why I shared was not because I wanted pity for the for being rejected. I don't need this. Okay? I'm only speaking about this for clarity to the community that why I haven't been around Neuro for the last eight months and why the sub goal is not going to be fulfilled."
>"Yesterday I mentioned the NTR art, right? People brought up from the past, like from four years ago, I did a tier list where I put 'NTR' pretty high up. I don't fucking know why I did that. I probably just wanted to farm some internet points because it was a meme back then, and everyone was doing the fucking tier lists. But I don't judge people liking it. But I frankly I never consume that media. But people confusing fantasy and reality is concerning and it says a lot about them not about me. I don't judge, Okay?"
>"Yeah. I'm glad I can I can laugh about this now. I think in general, I've been trying to be better at setting boundaries on stream and in my friendships, relationships, everything."
>"I never said that I'm perfect. I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be perfect. I had a very very toxic past, and it roots all the way from my childhood; I have a lot of toxic shit in me that I'm still dealing with. Yes, Soviet parents, all that stuff. I was abused as fuck as a kid. I grew up being a toxic motherfucker. Streaming has been helping me. Like it's dramatically improved me as a person... I became kinder because people are kind to me."
>"That's another thing that people like to bring up. There was like a thing I did like a quiz years ago. That was like, five, or six years ago. I did a quiz where there was a question "if I ever cheated" and I laughed because I was fucking nervous about it, because I was, like not sure what my answer should be. I flirted with someone while being in a relationship, then I broke up with them. But I still consider it cheating, and I don't do that shit anymore. That was years ago, I was fucking young and stupid. Like, nowadays, if I have a partner, I'm very committed and I would never do that shit to them. But I hope I clarified things because people really like to bring me down from things I did in the past."
>"I'm not completely healed. Like, obviously some things still trigger me. But I've been in therapy for over a year now. And there's been so many fucking things that I learned and my eyes got opened on to."
>"Also, if there's anything that triggers you in me, that might be a good way to reflect on yourself and see what it is and notice maybe that's something that is a problem in you (laughs)."
>"There were people saying like, "Oh, so now because you were harassed, you want him to get harassed?" Like, I never said that. I don't want him to get harassed. Uh, this is just, like, stupid feelings. There's nobody who's wrong, nobody who's right, in this kind of situation... I just want to say how fucking painful it was during the hype train (laughs). [Referring to the 'marriage stream' hype train]
>"I'm not going to say the exact timeline, but it happened before the new year. Um, yeah, that's all I'm going to say. It' was very uh... Yeah. I was already thinking of uh leaving back then, but I had to finish Evil's model."
>"I-I do stupid things when, uh... I love someone... I would do anything for my partner. Kind of want to hide now (laughs)."
>"That was already happening, like, after Evil's debut. At that point, I was already in in a lot of pain. I had to work on Evil while being in pain having to talk to... him for the entire month, while, you know, going through emotions. It's like...trying to stay professional. It was hard. It was tough."
>"There was this one thing that really bothered me. I've seen people saying stuff like, "I don't care. I don't care about the situation. I also got rejected a lot of times and nobody cared. Why do we have to care when it's a woman?" Okay, first of all, me sharing this thing does not mean that your situation is not valid. I don't know why they think that I'm invalidating their situation because me out of anybody; I literally know the pain that you went through and how much it fucking sucks. Like, I'm not your enemy. I literally feel you. I literally know what it feels like. Like why are people turning me into this enemy that is like, you know, I don't get this."
>"The reason why I shared was not because I wanted pity for the for being rejected. I don't need this. Okay? I'm only speaking about this for clarity to the community that why I haven't been around Neuro for the last eight months and why the sub goal is not going to be fulfilled."
>"Yesterday I mentioned the NTR art, right? People brought up from the past, like from four years ago, I did a tier list where I put 'NTR' pretty high up. I don't fucking know why I did that. I probably just wanted to farm some internet points because it was a meme back then, and everyone was doing the fucking tier lists. But I don't judge people liking it. But I frankly I never consume that media. But people confusing fantasy and reality is concerning and it says a lot about them not about me. I don't judge, Okay?"
>"Yeah. I'm glad I can I can laugh about this now. I think in general, I've been trying to be better at setting boundaries on stream and in my friendships, relationships, everything."
>"I never said that I'm perfect. I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be perfect. I had a very very toxic past, and it roots all the way from my childhood; I have a lot of toxic shit in me that I'm still dealing with. Yes, Soviet parents, all that stuff. I was abused as fuck as a kid. I grew up being a toxic motherfucker. Streaming has been helping me. Like it's dramatically improved me as a person... I became kinder because people are kind to me."
>"That's another thing that people like to bring up. There was like a thing I did like a quiz years ago. That was like, five, or six years ago. I did a quiz where there was a question "if I ever cheated" and I laughed because I was fucking nervous about it, because I was, like not sure what my answer should be. I flirted with someone while being in a relationship, then I broke up with them. But I still consider it cheating, and I don't do that shit anymore. That was years ago, I was fucking young and stupid. Like, nowadays, if I have a partner, I'm very committed and I would never do that shit to them. But I hope I clarified things because people really like to bring me down from things I did in the past."
>"I'm not completely healed. Like, obviously some things still trigger me. But I've been in therapy for over a year now. And there's been so many fucking things that I learned and my eyes got opened on to."
>"Also, if there's anything that triggers you in me, that might be a good way to reflect on yourself and see what it is and notice maybe that's something that is a problem in you (laughs)."
>"There were people saying like, "Oh, so now because you were harassed, you want him to get harassed?" Like, I never said that. I don't want him to get harassed. Uh, this is just, like, stupid feelings. There's nobody who's wrong, nobody who's right, in this kind of situation... I just want to say how fucking painful it was during the hype train (laughs). [Referring to the 'marriage stream' hype train]
>"I'm not going to say the exact timeline, but it happened before the new year. Um, yeah, that's all I'm going to say. It' was very uh... Yeah. I was already thinking of uh leaving back then, but I had to finish Evil's model."
>"I-I do stupid things when, uh... I love someone... I would do anything for my partner. Kind of want to hide now (laughs)."
