>>106312725【To Quills who 𝐚re sh𝐚ken or feeling neg𝐚tive 𝐚fter w𝐚tching th𝐚t stre𝐚m】
I’m sure many of you thought, “I can hear his voice again!” and tuned in, only to end up feeling inexplicably sad.
I was one of them.
For some reason the stream itself terrified me. I listened to the opening explanation of the situation, but once they said they wouldn’t touch on the matter after that and moved on to the game, I stopped watching.
The moment I closed the stream, I noticed my heart was pounding. And then I realized—I felt relieved.
After that, the tears wouldn’t stop. I’d been crying until just a moment ago. Normally I can sort out my feelings, but this time I couldn’t. I didn’t even know why I was sad.
Then, thanks to a kind friend, I was able to put my emotions in order. So I’d like to share that with all of you.
I think, even knowing that Xandu is Xandu, somewhere deep down I was still looking for traces of Ike in him.
But the person there wasn’t Ike—it was Xandu.
That realization shocked me.
Vtuber is a roleplay, after all.
Ike was a character who was intellectual, calm, gentle, always encouraging everyone, and loved his fans.
But in my impression of Xandu, I couldn’t find Ike at all.
Yes, the voice was the same.
But it absolutely wasn’t Ike.
Looking back now, Xandu caused this whole uproar in collusion with Bari.
I can’t help but think there were smarter ways to handle it.
Making the fans worry endlessly, then laughing uproariously and appearing on Doki’s stream of all places—it was bound to confuse people.
Ike would never do something like that.
But he isn’t Ike.
He’s Xandu.
People have many sides.
Compared to Ike, Xandu feels more free-spirited—or, to put it harshly, like a mischievous, high-maintenance child.
But I’m grateful that he perfectly played the role of Ike until the very end.
Seeing how different he was in the stream made me realize just how much care he put into the performance.
He did his job perfectly.
In the end, the person I loved was Ike.
I went to Xandu’s stream hoping to see Ike, but Ike wasn’t there.
That shock was the reason for the tears that came unbidden.
But I’m not saying “Ike is gone forever” or anything like that.
Ike Eveland did “die,” but true death doesn’t exist.
When a person dies, they become memories.
Even if every person on Earth forgets them, their traces remain on this planet in countless forms.
So I was able to convince myself: I really do love Ike.
With that, I understood the reason for my distress from watching the stream, and I’ve calmed down.
This is just my opinion and experience, so I don’t know how everyone else feels, but I hope it helps someone.
We will always be Quills.
As long as we keep loving Ike.
As long as we walk along the trail of words he left behind.
Life goes on.
Let’s carry the legacy of the blue novelist and keep walking.
When it gets hard, let’s encourage each other and keep living.
