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I don’t even know how to say this without sounding like a total loser but whatever
My oshi was Ceres Fauna. Her graduation fucked me up way more than I thought it would. I went full idol otaku. Her happiness = my happiness. Didn’t give a shit about myself at all. That’s how it worked.
Almost a year later and the emptiness hasn’t gone away. Actually it’s worse. Not crying every day or anything just this constant hollow silence. Like finishing the best book you’ve ever read and knowing those characters are gone forever but the feeling never leaves.
Everyone keeps telling me to “focus on myself” or “go to therapy” or “get a girlfriend” and I hate all of it. Therapists don’t understand idol stuff. A girlfriend can’t be an oshi without the whole thing breaking. I don’t want to focus on myself. That’s literally the point of having an oshi.
I’m not suicidal I just feel slowly eroding. Like I don’t have an axis anymore. Nothing to orient around. Days just fucking pass and I don’t care.
Thought about following the company or picking a new oshi but it feels fake and shill-tier compared to what I had with Fauna. Staying like this forever isn’t working either.
So I guess I’m asking /vt/ bros who’ve been through graduations or lost a perfect oshi:
What the fuck did you actually do after
Did you ever find something that filled the same role or just learn to live quieter
Is there a way forward that doesn’t make me feel like a normie or pretend devotion is stupid
Serious replies only. Don’t tell me to touch grass, worship God, or “love myself” I’ve heard all that bullshit
My oshi was Ceres Fauna. Her graduation fucked me up way more than I thought it would. I went full idol otaku. Her happiness = my happiness. Didn’t give a shit about myself at all. That’s how it worked.
Almost a year later and the emptiness hasn’t gone away. Actually it’s worse. Not crying every day or anything just this constant hollow silence. Like finishing the best book you’ve ever read and knowing those characters are gone forever but the feeling never leaves.
Everyone keeps telling me to “focus on myself” or “go to therapy” or “get a girlfriend” and I hate all of it. Therapists don’t understand idol stuff. A girlfriend can’t be an oshi without the whole thing breaking. I don’t want to focus on myself. That’s literally the point of having an oshi.
I’m not suicidal I just feel slowly eroding. Like I don’t have an axis anymore. Nothing to orient around. Days just fucking pass and I don’t care.
Thought about following the company or picking a new oshi but it feels fake and shill-tier compared to what I had with Fauna. Staying like this forever isn’t working either.
So I guess I’m asking /vt/ bros who’ve been through graduations or lost a perfect oshi:
What the fuck did you actually do after
Did you ever find something that filled the same role or just learn to live quieter
Is there a way forward that doesn’t make me feel like a normie or pretend devotion is stupid
Serious replies only. Don’t tell me to touch grass, worship God, or “love myself” I’ve heard all that bullshit
