You can consider this the ramblings of a schizo's shower thoughts... But since this thing about losing motivation is pretty much real, and the fact that she streamed very consistently back when she was in Australia because she wanted to connect to Japan more when she couldn't do it irl... It just feels to me like she just streamed for herself rather than anything/anyone else.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think she should only be streaming for us as her fans since she's not a circus monkey who's sole reason is to entertain but this kind of things is a two way street, the same way we interact with her, provide more content for her through various user submission streams, she also has to give back by showcasing said submissions and interacting with us as her fans in general.
But now it just seems to me that as her fans, we were nothing more than some sort of emotional support for her.
And you might say that other members do the same, but in my opinion this is way one sided.
For example, polka relies a lot on her members because she has no one else to rely on for her emotions, and in the same way her fans reciprocate.
Rushia is another example who provides the "ultimate" GFE experience and they provide back with their money.
Hell even mori's fans who are pretty much used as nothing but paypigs get rewarded more consistently.
We first started watching her as the young girl who studying abroad all by herself with no one there to help her or even take care of her and all those things were said by her in the chicken's talk show as well as her real talk stream, and that's why a lot of haatons think of her as a daughter!
And so we started to support her more and more and more until we truly fell for her charms and it became US (or at least a huge portion of us) who are relient on her as our "medicine" and once she didn't need us to her emotional support anymore she just started having more and more breaks, and it got to this point, I would understand that she's busy with her real life and college life but since this is more of a "lost motivation" rather than being busy situation I'm led to believe that she cares so little about it, she'd throw that bone of a stream like she did yesterday and then leaves for God knows how long.
I don't mean to be a numberfag but this is just another point to my whole ramble, her ccv went down a bit after her most recent break and I refuse to believe that all of those who left were tourists, she barely breaks 10k viewers on most of her streams nowadays and I feel like that's because the haatons who have accepted this and have now left to keep the hurt to a minimum.
A lot of her content is regarded as legendary, her name is pretty much on all the tongues of those who know about Vtubers, her status on the internet is that of fubuki and coco if not even more which is why I always thought when the inevitable day comes and she graduates, her graduation stream will also be regarded as legendary as coco's but not I just think that she's trying to side back into obscurity so that she can graduate without having to worry about the amount of people who'll be sad, kind of like the opposite of what coco did.
This pretty much turned into a blog post because I just have so many things in my head to think about, I think I forgot to mention some points as well but these are my two cents, now I'm gonna go and take my meds
