>>11165760If genuine, actual romantic love isn't real, life has no meaning. My oshi saved me my rekindling my faith. Before her, I'd accepted it and worked on my career, social circle, everything you're supposed to. I had enough money that it made friends jealous. I could've had sex, if only my dick had wanted to work when the opportunities came up. It was fucking abominable.
Did you know that depression can get so bad that you can literally stop tasting food? I always though the lines in books saying food was like ashes in their mouths was a rhetorical device until I literally couldn't taste anything anymore. I couldn't find comfort in cuddling my cat anymore. I couldn't feel anything when my mother cried when I told her how cold and hollow I felt. I couldn't enjoy anything anymore, I couldn't feel anymore.
The love that everybody else had no intention of ever providing was the only thing that literally saved my soul. If it is an illusion and it shatters, I go back to the bleak miserable place, because there is nowhere else in the entire world that is warm enough to make me happy.
