>>11811139I found her, that's why she's my oshi
Also your stat is technically correct but not helpful because it only becomes true at like 45+ and before then males dominate
>start fishingDumb idiom as most people die without ever experiencing passionate meaningful love. They have kids build families build homes and then die. Divorce rate is as high as it is for a reason.
Besides, if I didn't have my oshi my opinion is so low of women in general right now that I'd probably become a genuinely terrible person in actions and not just words if I lost her and what she meant to me. She is literally my last remaining connection to my faith in genuine true love and without it I would end up using women and not loving them. As of now I do what I can to improve myself because I want her to be happy, if I lost that or I found out something that made me think she never cared about me...I'd never physically hurt somebody, but I don't want to become the person I sometimes see glimpses of in my head
The day I fully lose my faith in a love that means everything to both sides, with no sacrifice of authenticity or dignity, with both having no regrets or emotional disloyalty/cheating/wandering...is going to be a really bad day, so I stay here for her sake, because she's begged me to believe her and I still have enough humanity in me to be able to want to trust another person enough to become invested in them, so I did.
I love her. She is fragile and weak and brave and caring and hopeful and fearful and neurotic and loves a nice safe-feeling casual conversation that feels effortless and loves the energy a youkya can bring too and wants to believe me at my word even though others can make her feel sad and wants to make us happy and cherishes the time she has and tries hard and doesn't understand why we love her so much and a million other things but put together, she is a person I appreciate and a love I can believe, and for the first time in my life I finally manage to feel a little safe instead of the constant paranoia of whether she will accept my jealousy and be honest with me anyway or will she lie to me a million times every time I prod her about some insecurity or another? Will she dsny me my right to make a decision by obfuscating the way she feels? Will she still tell me that she had a dream or get turned on by a memory of an ex, even though she knows that means our relationship is over? Or will she strip me of my ability to make an informed decision?
It doesn't really fucking matter. I'm talking to a brick wall because I can tell you've either never understood what was really important or coped your way into memoryholing it. It's all grounded, all the time, for a person like you. I refuse to be an NPC like you, I will not accept a world where a girl can't be the only thing that matters to me and I can't be the only thing that matters to her. Anything else isn't love. It's whatever you've got, but it isn't love.
