I am going to use my little to no knowledge of philosophy to say something, if I sound stupid is because I am.
We can define love 2 ways, the first one is the Eros and the second one is the Celeste, the Eros is easy to describe since it's the phisical attraction someone can have to someone else, this ateaction is fickle and can fade away at any moment since the body is weak and only seeks pleasure, now in contrast Celeste is the attraction one has for someone's mind this attraction is harder to obtain since the mind is something that we can't see easily and we need time to clearly understand, in this way this type of love is stronger since you are not bound by pleasure you are bound by soul, as such this kind of love was what Socrates called true love or the base of real love, now this connection we have with kiki can be problematic because there is a real divide between kiki and (you) but you can still see Kiki's soul when she interacts with us, this feeling of understanding, this feeling of need is the result of you seeing Kiki's heart, we might joke about the Eros, because the flesh is the flesh but that need that (you) feel when she says "I love you" that is your soul understanding the truth, here is the problem, we understand kiki, we can see her heart and soul and we can see what they are beautiful, but (you) are part of a collective, we are a mass of souls what don't share an ego and is fragmented, by such kiki can't truly understand us or see our soul, we can love kiki but she can't love us as much, we will always love her more because she is whole, and that might be terrifying but if we can understand each other and be happy, because that way the little fragment of (you) that kiki can see will be beautiful so she can love you as much.
I hope I explained well enough. Sorry if it sound retarded.
I want to hug you too kiki.