>>12615589and i'm sorry in advanced for my paragraphs of autism back. i do appreciate the response don't worry, it's more of a chance for me to rant about this particular thing. but thank you thank you for taking the time to answer back and being very sweet about it
>(you seem a bit less into that kind of anime culture than otherwise)i really should take a picture of my collection of manga or show off my anime list or something one day. i tend to prefer more series seinen/josei series but i still have a soft spot for things like Azumanga or K-ON. in fact on my collab at Nelson's channel this Wednesday i was trying to explain to him what gap moe meant during the movie
>Likewise, maybe people do think you are trashy or not seiso enoughthe trashy title does give me a bit of an identity crisis(?). i really hadn't meant for that part of myself to show up so easily in streams. in fact it was a bit of a shock that i started getting called that in threads, even though it makes sense since i know that i'm born/raised/going to be buried as trailer trash. it's not a title that really hurts, like of course i call myself that and it's fine, but i really hadn't meant to let that shine through so obviously in the beginning, especially since i know most people who watch v-tubers aren't going to be into those type of girls. i've tried to embrace it now so i don't come off as fake and with the idea that even if it isn't the most appealing type of girl, it at least gives me a description to stand out with, for better or worst.
being seen as a cute girl is always something i've struggled with, and with a hobby that ends up being a career for some people, it's hard to not compare yourself to others around you. i know not doing that is one of the number one rules in this kind of thing, but it's easier to say than do. add that on top of being frustrated because things break/don't work out as they should, or IRL events constantly adding up in the background. if i ever reincarnated i can't help but think i would try to go for the cinnamon roll route, even if it would be me faking it. i'm trying not to let it drag me down, but wanting to come off as the type of sweet, nice girl to protect has been a goal of mine for a long time. though faking that also means coming off as disingenuous, which puts me a bit in a tough spot. i might need to take the time to ask some fellow girl chuubas for advice in this regard, which feels embarrassing but will help with these worries (hopefully)
