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Masturbation. Endless abhorrent masturbation to my oshi.
I destroy my dong whilst listening to my oshi's ASMR and viewing erotic art of her.
I've masturbated to the idea of every manner of non-violent sexual contact with her. To the thought of tasting and smelling everything her body has to offer, nothing off limits.
I am reduced to nothing but a dog driven by lust. My loins are battered and bruised. The well is dry and yet I pump the handle.