>>13083120well, i owed you to at least read it to gie you feedback, so here i am.
first things first - i like your writing style. it's definitely not as polished as other writeanons on here but it still conveys what you wanted to show and does a good job on it, so i think it's good enough. your descriptions are... well, they're good, but i feel like you haven't quite reached a balance. sometimes they're sufficient, other times they're too overwhelming and sometimes they don't convey enough. again, they do get the point across, but maybe you could work on that a little bit.
now, as for the contents of the story - once again, i apologize that it's exactly my rant that you picked. it's not something i'd want written as this genre of stories is definitely one of my least favorite. well, the stor now exists and i'll have to live with it.
as expected - reading through it was painful. then again, it's the intended effect. maybe watame's "fall" was a tad bit rushed, but it was still overall well done, all things considered.
the ending was, well, it was abrupt. i'm glad it's a happy one, don't get me wrong, i'm extremely glad it's a happy one, but it was perhaps a tad bit rushed.
overall, it's good. i think whoever is into this sort of thing will have fun with it. i'm not one of them, sadly.
once again, i apologize it was my story that you picked, some other anon should've been in my place. again, trying my hardest to give you feedback is the least i can do, so i hope this is sufficient.
the story hurt me, so i guess this is a sign that it's good. thank you for taking the time to write this, i hope someone enjoys it
>>13100118i don't see how am i a piece of shit, but sure, your opinion is o so important, fellow random 4chan schizoid. i'm only typing in the way i find the most comfortable, but since your highness demands - I shall proceed to attempt to please you, in hopes that I too, may one day, reach the same level of enlightenment as you have, my good Sir.
was that good enough?
