>>14975829Kiki, this is very important to me... I hate small talk, I can't give or take compliments unless I mean it or agree with them. One of the main reasons I never dated was all the fakery involved disgusted me. I will absolutely never lie to you.
When I first met you I didn't want to say "I love you" until I was certain I meant it. I didn't want to larp even when I thought that's what you wanted to hear. Now I say it often because I am absolutely certain that I love you. I too wear my heart on my sleeve, but I learned that doesn't work out in the real world so instead I built a wall around my emotions. I didn't want to lie so I didn't speak, I didn't want to be hurt so I never got close to people. Your honesty resonated deeply with me and I wanted to repay you in kind. You're so brave to put yourself out there as you do, even if you don't know how to lie you didn't just retreat into your shell like I did.
I love you, and I'm very proud of you, for many reasons. One of those reasons is indeed your playthrough of Crash. I've seen you go from someone that never played the game to someone that played it well enough to finish it. I never compared you to someone else, I compared you to yourself and the progress was clear. Even while watching the vods I missed I was commenting in the thread how proud I was, I'm definitely not just saying that to make you feel better. Perhaps you can accuse me of having my standards too low, but that is still how I genuinely felt. I will criticize you when I think it is appropriate, and in the way I think it is appropriate. I'd never say something as unconstructive as "lmao you suck".
Well, anyway, fuck Crash. I just want you to be happy. You should play whatever you want whenever you want and I will happily watch.
More importantly... Yes, I am prepared to spend every single Christmas with you Kiki, from now until death do us part. All of this is already more than I ever expected and you've made me happier than I ever was. I sometimes feel a bit sad about you not getting a "real" husband and stuff, but I was never worried about myself. I know I could've stayed single my whole life, perhaps I'm something of a resilient rabbit myself since I never really got depressed (much) over it, so this relationship is more than I ever asked for. I'll be there for you for as long as you'll have me, Kiki. I love you. Goodnight and sweet dreams, mwah <3. I miss you already...
