>>15111809To the Anon who just wanted to read about kissing one's oshi, here's a little bit I wrote. I wanted to leave it for later, but I was seized by emotion and decided to write this portion right away. Read my commentary right after it and then give me your thoughts. Suisei is my oshi, by the way.
I kissed her lips. I tasted that aliment which enriches with knowledge of the beautiful, the good, the sublime, but never satisfies. I starve for more, my dear, my desire.
I kissed her lips. I drank, I imbibed the pure, crystalline water of this diamantine fountain, this fountain of life, my life, of her who has sustained me for so long, never quenching my thirst, never sating my desire―of her lips, her mouth, her voice, of her. Slowly she pulls away, greedily looking for breath, for the soul she just gave me―I feel she will leave, that she will return to the heavens whence she came, leaving me starving, thirsting, ignorant, lifeless...
Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and the spirit of the animal descends into the earth? I do not, but I do know―I joined with heaven, and will in my desire seek to elevate myself, to meet her again, she who is no longer here, she who is in heaven.
That's it for now. I've been lurking here for some days now, and personally I think most people here won't really like it: people here seem to favor plain style, while I prefer and strive for middle or high; second or third person is used ("you", "Anon"), but I want to be lyrical (first person); most fics seem to be sensual, but I'd like to write more than just that. That's why I tend to be rather abstract, as you can see there. I'm thinking of writing more, adding more concrete description, to make it more evocative and pleasant; the reason I started with this was that I wanted to show I may feel not only sexual desire, but also something else.
I think the constant repetition might displease some readers, but I wanted to convey heightened emotion, intensity.
What do you think?
